Human Silence Phenomenon!

Speech is Silver but Silence is Golden. I am sure almost all of us heard this when we were still perched on the knee of our parents but what I know for a fact is that we never understood the gravity of it, till we grew up to be these totally misunderstood adults who are still finding their way about the winding paths of life.

As millennials, we experience some phenomena which are unique to our generation such as Ghosting , Inadequate Social Media Presence , FOMO , Moral policing and demands for personal space which even NASA would not be able to fulfil! Yet the worst problem that I think we are facing as a generation is Communication! Nay sir, I do not mean the lack of technology to communicate with but rather the will to! We are so self absorbed in our own lives that we forget to understand the importance of a dialogue in the sustenance of any relationship.

Many would argue that this is a problem as old as time and I surely agree. What is unique about this problem to our generation is the constant pressure to maintain a devil may care attitude and an appearance of The One Who Cares Less. This is something which fascinates me beyond measure as anyone who knows me knows, that when I commit to something or someone I am All In! If you matter to me then you as well as the plebeians around you will never ever doubt what I think about you and what you mean to me!

Another aspect that is a trademark move of most of the people I know is the lack of the ability or rather the will to talk about the elephant in the room! I mean of course if there was actually an elephant in the room that would be the sole topic of discussion but you get my drift! The incessant need to push anything that is slightly confrontational under the rug and a belief that if left undisturbed the issue would resolve itself is outright stupid!

I agree that a scratch even if left unheeded will recover and may not even leave a scar behind but a deeper wound will not disappear on its own and to think it will is simply outrageous! If not salved or bandaged it will fester and become incurable and lead to an infection that may ultimately lead to the amputation of the part on which the wound appeared.

Similarly no relation be it romantic or a beautiful friendship or even one between office acquaintances is ever without its set of crests and troughs. If you are one of the fortunate ones you might have a successful run of absolutely no unsavory incidents for a couple of years but somewhere down the line due to circumstances that are beyond the control of either parties it will happen that you will find yourself at opposite ends of the arena. At this point instead of letting go of something that was so significant one needs to muster up the courage and have what might turn out to be an unpleasant conversation but with great results.

If you are hesitating or contemplating to have this conversation then it just implies that maybe this relationship never held any value to you. Cause you need to fight for things that are worth it! And more than that if this hesitation is coming out of the space where you are still figuring things in your head you need to say that aloud too. Cause when they ask you the Big Question and if there is even a slight chance that you want this relation to be intact say it ! Just blurt it out! No need to be eloquent about it !

The one thing that no one ever realises is that staying Silent is even more hurtful than denying them the honest bitter truth about secretly carving an exit path! Cause silence talks way more than words ever can and usually spells the death knell of the relation and a quiet acceptance that the relationship does not even deserve a proper burial! This silence can pierce through and through just like the Night King did with Viserion and believe me when I say it is just as painful as the faithful Dragon’s death!

Friends in Absentia

Apparently millennials are the most connected individuals in terms of the plethora of options available to them for communication! And on the surface of it you can see that it is accurate factually ! You can text or IM or FB message or Insta DM or call or Whatsapp or E-mail or Hike or choose any of the other several options available to you!

But is it really true? I beg to differ! Cause all of these communication channels in fact cause more anxiety! Someone claims they don’t like talking on the phone and that is why they never call you yet their phone is always Busy when you call them! You text them and you get Read Receipts (those God awful Blue ticks that you receive when erroneously they open your messages with absolutely no intention to reply)! But even after a spate of texts that would be significant enough to not ignore you just receive a measly emoticon!

You can see them online on Facebook but they don’t seem to like your comments! What does all of this mean? It means that you now have various ways of knowing that someone really doesn’t want to be in touch with you which is a more depressing thought than a High tea without sandwiches and samosas.

In simpler times, you wrote a letter and if someone didn’t reply you assumed that your letter got lost or their reply was misplaced by the Postal Department! You called on the landline and if they didn’t come to the phone there was a genuine reason behind it! Even if they got someone to cover for their lie there was no way you could know the truth.

Yes they were uncertain times and emergencies were real emergencies cause you had no way of reaching people instantly but you also didn’t have to face the harsh reality of Rejection unless said out loud! I am sure people will argue that this is better since it keeps things honest and straight forward from the beginning but what if this crept in ages after a rock solid bond is formed and habits of communication have not changed in ages.

Are you supposed to read into these signs? Or are you to assume that their schedules are so over booked that they couldn’t respond to you in time and it is not due to the simple fact that may be they just didn’t want to! Maybe it is circumstantial or may be it is their way of gently letting you down! Do you quietly get the hint and fall back! Or do you be the patient anchor you promised them to be and wait on that one elusive call which may or may never come! Cause no one wants to sound clingy or desperate! Even the number of dots that follow the ‘Hey’ need to be apprised and calculated so that you don’t sound like the person who is more involved!

What if you are one of those people who believes in the principle of Fierce Love! The fools that are All In and have invested every drop of faith , love , respect, care and trust in the relation! Who will never give up on any equation that has someone you Love on the other end of the Equals To sign and be the sea of understanding! Someone who is prepared to Wait! Wait! Wait! And Wait some more till the ones they love finally are able to find some free time and good reason for them! Is this patient vigil rewarded by honest care, trust and love ? Or are these all pointing to the obvious that this is The Beginning Of the End!

In retrospect though there is no right way forward! The entire scenario has become so fickle and ever changing that all one can do is live ensconced in a snug blanket of hope! That all that this relation signified is enough to warrant you an explanation (which may again be in the form of a call or a text or if you are fortunate enough a rendezvous) to know where you stand! Hope that even if something does go wrong in any relation then social media connectivity or rather the absence of it should not be the bearer of this news.

The Pain of being a Girl

If you think my post has something to do with the Women’s March in USA where an orangehead passed a legislation wherein women can’t decide what they must do with their reproductive systems you are wrong. And if you think this is to do with a certain MP passing sexist comments about our Desh Ki Beti you are still wrong. It isn’t as if these and the million injustices meted out to women are not a cause of concern for me cause trust me they are.

But I do not consider myself influential enough that my opinion on these issues would actually bring about a difference. I am just a fading voice in the echo of millions with no standing whatsoever. I am here to highlight a different kind of pain faced by every woman. The pain of those routine Salon visits.

Oh My God!!! I know half of you are going ape-shit thinking she just said Salon on a public platform???How could she??? Well Girls cause I pretty much assume and know for a fact that all those men you hangout with are aware that you aren’t an exception to Class Mammalia and thus know that you were born with Body Hair!

Yes! He knows it and it is okay. In a world where Veet is promoted on National Television in prime time commercials; trust me he knows. He knows you were not born with the smooth as butter skin and he knows that the fine arch of those eyebrows has been painstakingly achieved. What I do not get is that every month when am getting myself pulled at, tweezed, threaded and literally semi – burnt while paying for it is the condescending attitude my salon attendant assumes.

She will go on to list several services that I know for a fact cost a bomb and convince my insecure self that I need them to just look like the girl next door. Thankfully the peanuts I earn put a stop from me giving in to her whims and fancies but do they stop me from reducing my self – worth a couple notches??? As much as I hope the answer to this was a blatant No, sadly I can’t help but agree with her assessment.

Due to this I am now afraid of every such visit cause apart from being in pain physically which I have now gotten used to ; it is tougher to combat the blow I get mentally. And this is a question to all those people who preach body positivity and acceptance! I challenge you to sit down surrounded by mirrors and bright lights where every spot, mark, wrinkle and pimple is clearly visible and to not agree with that woman’s opinion about you. How does one argue about Beauty with someone whose job is to Beautify? Someone who is in fact the expert on the matter!

Does this mean I will stop these visits? Nah! But I vow to not give into her ‘kind suggestions’ not cause I am confident about the way I look (No! Absolutely Not! Zero! Zilch! Nada!) but cause there is only so much pain I can take – mentally and physically and because I want to be the person who dictates what happens to my body since its my fundamental right as it is mine and just mine to take care of!!

So this is a shout – out to all the Beautiful Girls!!! Beauty does come in all shapes, sizes and colours and if we let our physical attributes outshine the brilliance of our dazzling smiles , crazy jokes , sharp minds and beautiful thoughts we are all losing a battle to the Community of Salon Women whose sole purpose is to increase their revenue by making us feel that we absolutely require 901023 services to look good and not just the ones we choose to opt for!

16 lessons 2016 taught me!

I haven’t written a blog in the past few months and not cause there was any dearth of topics or I didn’t have time. In fact a couple of my friends have been really pushing me into penning down something but I just didn’t do any writing that was even worth the paper it was written on. Cause that is how 2016 has been. Some really brilliant flashes of inspiration with the routine drudgery wedged in! So instead of hunting for a topic within the dusty cobwebs of my mind I just thought of listing down the lessons that 2016 taught me and 16 of them cause I suffer from arithmophilia.

1. Fight back and you will be noticed : Multiple stances in politics in India.
2. Communication Boundaries Exist and with Horrendous outcomes : Harambe got shot.
3. Mass Hypnosis is the Real deal : Trump.
4. Human Cruelty has no boundaries : Syria, Turkey, Iraq, Pakistan ,Pathankot, USA, France and all those places who faced some or the other form of terrorism.
5. Decade old rules can change overnight and all it takes is a Mitron : Demonetisation (counting coins to spend at the NYE bash tonight).
6. There is no love greater than a Mother’s Love : Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds (still sobbing).
7. Never lose hope even though every Scientist asks you to : Pandas are not endangered species any more!!!(removes her pom – poms and starts bouncing)
8. No one is Safe : Kim Kardashian got robbed!
9. Recognition might come late but it will nevertheless : Leonardo DiCaprio finally won the Oscar! (Yours truly sat in Goa post a long night to witness this dream come true.)
10. Talent exists without boundaries : Bob Dylan won the Nobel Prize for Literature.
11. There are still some good People in Politics : Justin Trudeau personally greeted Syrian refugees providing them the warmest welcome possible.
12. Even them Good Ones, they Gotta Go : Alan Rickman, George Michael, David Bowie, Harper lee, Umberto Eco, Prince, Muhammad Ali, Zohra Saigal, Suchitra Sen and the list just goes on!
13. Dreams so Come True : Along with 80k indians my bestie and I saw Chris Martin sing Vande Mataram LIVE along with all our favourite Coldplay tracks for free!
14. Forever is just till someone says Not Now ; Not Ever : Brangelina, Calvin – Taylor, Bella – The Weeknd and closer home Ranbir – Katrina, Farhan – Adhuna and the list just goes on.(There is an online website that list 227 Celeb break ups in 2016!for once singledom seems bearable .)
15. The Glass Ceiling is a Myth : PV Sindhu, Dipa Karmakar, Sakshi Malik, Deepika Padukone, Priyanka Chopra and Hillary Clinton to name a few!

AND LASTLY THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE YET!

   16. Online Delivery Schedules are a Farce : Moi who is the Queen of Gifting will be arriving at a Birthday party sans one and you have online shopping to blame for it!

Gone with the Bad Guy!

I choose to call myself a bibliophile and feel justified in doing so. I read books nineteen to dozen, have a book quote ready for any situation and there is always a book tucked in my bag if I am going out. In fact I can associate people in my head with characters that I have read about and grown to cherish, hate, admire or love. It is frankly very disconcerting to meet someone who I cannot associate with someone I know through the world of fiction.

Yes! I do have crushes on men found within the pages of a book and No! I do not think it is abnormal to do so. But what amazes, surprises and baffles me in equal amounts, is why do my fictional loves comprise of entirely the Bad Guys or at least the Not Really Nice Men. The kind your Mom didn’t envision you bringing home even though most have an unending stream of fortune backing them (the source of which isn’t clear mostly). Rhett Butler, Sidney Carter, Heathcliff,  Mr.Darcy were all men one can’t fall in love with on the first, second or even the nth sight. It is the Bingleys’, the Gilbert Blythes’ and Gabriels’ of the world who are the Classic Good Guys but somehow they never make the cut.

It is a mystery to me as to why do I always fall for the quintessentially mysterious character enveloped in shades of grey. A cigarette hanging from his lower lip, an all-knowing smile that seems to always hide a mystery at its corners, a characteristic swagger in the walk and an attitude that they are Gods walking among mortals. These men are emotionally unavailable and push you away when you need them the most and smother you with attention the moment you finally learn to stand on your two feet without them.

Talking to them takes Zero effort cause I think I forgot to mention that they are eloquent and great conversationalists who know what keeps you engaged and in fact wanting for more. But if you get hooked to these conversations you are in for a Rude Shock. They rarely think its worth the effort putting on their charm for so long and just let their eyes say volumes which you might spend eons deciphering and still fail.

Is it the thrill that is brought on by their Unpredictability since you keep wondering what lies just around the bend and never can guess it right? Is it their commitment to their goals, to what they wish to achieve and even to maintaining their appearances. (God Forbid! that beard is less than perfect since it would be equivalent to committing a blasphemy) .

I have no idea!!! May be it is the protective instinct in them that makes you feel that if they are around no harm might come to you and even if it does… Oh Well, then their presence and Never Say Die attitude is enough to give you strength to fight whatever life throws on your path. Don’t be mistaken that they will swoop in like a Knight in Shining Armour to save you from the world. They might but then you will lose all the respect you’ve garnered. They will just be the silent pillar of support who will make you realize your independence is something you can conquer the world with.

Maybe it is the fact that they appear as cool, calm and collected personalities but storms keep silently brewing in their minds that are deeper than Hell itself. Maybe its how they make you always strive to become better with that appearance of confidence. Of course it is not that they do not have their fair share of insecurities cause they do how much ever they pretend otherwise. And when finally they trust you enough to bare their vulnerabilities in front of you and let the Tough Guy Act fall is when I think every girl falls for this guy that she always knew was going to make her a wrecking ball.

You know what I could go on and on and be not even an inch closer to unraveling this mystery and I swear to God that unlike Ms. Taylor Swift I have no intention of making these Bad Guys good for the weekend cause I like them as is. Why would I change what attracts me about them? I would have to be a moron to do so!

I have tried hard to change my preferences courtesy Mother dear who is always Team Bingley to my Team Darcy and a supporter of M.S Dhoni as opposed to my immortal and undying love for Virat Kohli. But as is evident I have failed miserably cause even as I write this blog my favourite quote glares at me from the center of a cushion and the voice of the ethereal Mr. Rhett Butler echoes in my mind saying “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a Damn!”

Perfect Paramours or None!

Millennials are famous for putting everything on Social Media right from their happening parties to their thriving love lives. But a broken heart and suddenly the Whatsapp DP is a sad quote and the Facebook status Single. What exactly is everyone expecting out of these relations is beyond me which can be broken by a series of clicks on the phone that involve blocking the person on Whatsapp and Voila! we are single again.

In this really fast paced world we are always pressurized to be better than Sharma Ji’s beta or Kapoor Ji’s beti. And somehow even our Love lives have been embroiled in this Rat Race. Sitting in the cab while hopping between two business appointments we swipe right or left on all these Dating Apps by cursory glancing through the profile as if it is a job interview for which we are perusing resumes.

We want the Violins and the Pianos and the entire bloody orchestra to play inside our heads when we see that person who is our special someone and not for a moment anything less will do. Cause it has to be the best or it just doesn’t have to be since there are always several options. When our House owner is throwing tantrums we change our residences, when our Bosses be screwing us around we change jobs so it is more than fitting that if someone is a little outside our bracketed set of expectations we don’t give them a chance even!

Since like the food that we eat which must be Instagram worthy or we didn’t have it at all even our partners must be Greek Gods and Goddesses who are over achievers so we hit at least 500 Likes when we post a picture captioned Bae! I am not being preachy but can we please not make Love also a part of our Profiles and Bio datas and make it perfect cause it isn’t. It is mad and messy and requires you to work for it and not give up.

I am single and there will be many who feel this is the cause of some unrequited love sneaking around in my life but this isn’t about me! It’s about how we as an entire generation have forgotten the importance of giving in time and efforts to a relation. There will be a few who know that since I am not that good looking this is the result of getting my heart broken by some Handsome Hunk but that is not the topic on the table. It is about how we have become such shallow people that everything related to us must look perfect in its appearances or we won’t even consider it.

That guy who makes puppy dog eyes at you every time you pass by his desk but you don’t even look at him cause maybe he is earning less than you might have the just the same amount of adventure in his soul you want but you will never now unless you give him a chance! That girl whose been there for you through all thick and thin but when you look at her she is more Betty than Veronica so you have decided to not give her a chance though she might be the Anchor you are looking for!

Does this mean that you start dating the first person who shows that he or she is mildly interested in you? Nay!Absolutely NOT. But just question yourself my friend that whether in waiting for the orchestra to play, have you missed to hear the gentle strums of the guitar.

Vices and their Vividness

I am judged everywhere I go as people usually assume that I am a party going chilled 90s kid but when they know that I am someone whose weekend party does not involve drinking and smoking and the occasional indulgence of grass I get my fair share of raised eyebrows. No I do not have anything against any of these and I am fine with the world indulging in them but what I DON’T get is their fixation with getting me to try it. If I say I haven’t ever tried even one of these I would be a hypocrite but forgive me cause the one time I did it failed to keep me hooked to it.

I love being the sober one even though am called the Bore of the party (there are way more crude ways people put it as and this is the most polite one) cause I do not feel that am losing out on something instead each of these times when I go out I have learnt new things and observed such sights which I would have missed otherwise.

The honesty that some people express on being drunk is wondrous. The childlike behaviour and the blatant truth served rare is worth it. Since you might know people for a long time but their inner identity gets wrapped up in layers of societal conformity and I enjoy watching them shed these layers. The expressions when someone guzzles down an entire mug of beer is something so photo worthy but the experience of seeing it for yourself in reality is completely different. I have been told time and again that drinking is fun cause you lose your inhibitions. I personally feel that there are people with whom I have the No Filter Policy and that is applicable even at 8 AM in the morning and if there are those in front of whom my guard is up I would like it to remain so; thus sorry drinking you and me won’t work out!

Smoking is something which I would consider for no other reason except the fact that it is said to help one lose weight and I have seen people’s appetites falling drastically after they have started smoking. But is this enough for me to do it? Nah! Instead I love watching someone light their cigarette. There is something so intimate in that moment cause for the smoker there ceases to be anyone for those few seconds except them and their light. If I’d be a painter am sure I would do a series of trying to capture that scene on the canvas.

Will I be horribly judged for this post? Yes! Will people misunderstand me? Definitely! But the only opinion I have is that when I do not feel entitled to even have an opinion on others doing something why do they get to have one on me not doing it? Why is that if I am at a party and people whom I have known for years will still insist on me having that one celebratory shot of tequila? Is conformity to society increased so much that anyone not doing something socially acceptable should be judged, made fun of and even mocked? It is an answer I still don’t have …

Corporate Chronicles – Coffee, Cookies and Compliments

I am a couple of days shy from completing a month at the Fancy managerial job I got post my M.B.A. Why was I hired? To bring innovative solutions to the organizational problems with the knowledge and expertise I gained during my MBA. But all I remember from my MBA is making a zillion PPTs for my group who seemed so unenthusiastic about it that I’d be scared to even send a completely done PPT to them also out of fear of their disdain, but that is a story for another day.

First thing that I have learnt is if you are from a so called AAA rating college then Bro half your job is done. You’ll be listened to and your totally outdated and hilarious ideas appreciated not to mention the fat pay package you carry home just cause you scored like 5 percentile more than us mortals in the competitive exams. But God help you if you’re from the so called Tier 2 colleges cause forget work even appreciation and intrigue from the opposite gender is something completely out of your reach. Hearing that someone is an alumnus from amazing college is enough to pique interest in anybody without even seeing them whereas you can be easily relegated to a corner.

If you have seen too many movies where managers sit in swanky cabins well there’s a rude shock in store since even getting an I- Card or a laptop is a tedious process fraught with several approvals and delays. These things are doled out on priority basis and being the lowest in the hierarchy of the mid level management I am sorry you stand last in line.

The people you meet are another story. Conversations revolve around salaries , increments and HRAs punctuated by giggly discussions of alcohol. I am so glad to have found a few like minded people in my office with whom I can chill but their number is very low and most of them are people I already knew from college. I had thought I would meet really interesting new people but the count of that is Only One and that too shall soon become none. How is that you wonder? In the entire month I have been here I have met exactly one person who was intriguing enough to be friends with and with whom conversations genuinely would flow but he’s quitting work next week. In the mundane routine that office is, conversations over tea and cookies with him were the only part of the day I actually looked forward to but that is soon going to end and in this ever changing equation of life I can only wonder whether we’d still be friends once he quits or we’ll just end up being acquaintances of the past.

My chief learnings include knowing how to get my salary account opened or how to help the HR with his mail so he expedites our I cards. I know very well which coffee machine gives the best tasting coffee and that the chocolate chip cookies from the vending machine are heavenly. As for work I know how to handle projects I know nada about by just walking up to strangers and introducing myself and eating their heads till they answer my queries.

I am learning quite a lot every single day and have realised that its a Rat Race and a Dog-eat-Dog world out there and you have no option but to sweet talk your way through sticky situations. The stress on some of my friends who have joined other organizations is so unbelievably high that their well being has become a part of my daily prayers. My People skills’ may be inching to Zen level but I know I will achieve Corporate Nirvana the day the Higher-ups reply to my first mail and not make me resend it half a dozen times!

The 20 Something’s Dictionary

Most of my friends are completing or on the anvil of completing a quarter of their life. Two decades ago reciting our A-Z we thought that by this time we’d be clear headed adults with our lives sorted. Cut to the present scenario I think most of us are more confused in life than we were then. And the remarkable thing is that now our choices are irrevocable and have a much more lasting effect on our existence. Living this perplexed life with too much of free time I discovered that we still need to recite the same A-Z, albeit to a different tune.

A for A**holes : They exist and you can’t avoid them so just bear with them buddy.

B for Breaking Bad : The occasional puff isn’t so occasional any more and the pints have become one too many. But till you feel you can handle it Screw those judgements.

C for Caring :  All the games of the adult world that we play tell us to hide our care of a fellow being since it leaves you vulnerable. Don’t! If someone matters to you in any way let them know.

D for Debts : There are bills to be paid and parties to attend and an image to maintain. But do not go gentle into the good night with debts. You will regret it some day.

E for Emotions : They are real and they hurt. But that does not mean that one gives up on them since you will always find those to whom your emotions matter equally and these people are Keepers. Hold onto them!

F for F**k ‘Em : Those aunties that comment on your marriage and those uncles with extra friendly advice about your careers. They haven’t walked in your shoes so their opinions do not matter.

G for Games : Quit them. They aren’t gonna get you a long lasting bond with that one person you really love. So own up your feelings

H for Honesty : I do not ask you to turn into Harish Chandra since the complications of human world need white lies to make it sustain but in all those relations that you feel are going to be a part of your future be it your best friend or a colleague Avoid them Lies.

I for Instant : In a world of 2 min noodles and Speed dating we’ve literally forgotten to take a step back and pause to look around. There is so much we miss in our decision to keep going through life with an ever increasing pace.

J for Jobs : Love them or Hate them you cannot deny that they are the ones that keep the fires burning and pay the bills. So do them to the fullest of your ability but don’t make them a sore thorn of your already complicated life.

K for Kindness : It doesn’t hurt to be kind in life. Not the donate a few grands to charity Kind but the make coffee for Mom after coming from work since she has had a bad day or cover up for a colleague since they are going through a rough patch kinda Kind.

L for Laugh : Yes! How many times do we actually Laugh when we text lol to someone? Zilch! Change that since all those old people well they were right about Laughter being the Best medicine.

M for Marriage : It will happen when its meant to be. Don’t stress about it or get into something that is a well adjusted compromise even if ALL your friends are married cause trust me the tag isn’t worth your life.

N for Novelty : In our search for Novelty we have let go of the warmth that Old Friends, Old Music and Old Books bring to our lives.

O for Optimism : I do not know if the glass is half full or half empty but if it has something in it and you are thirsty well drink up. It might be the famous Chenin Blanc and trust me you’ll love it, if it is.

P for Parents : They are the only ones to have stood by you through all the crests and troughs of your quarter life and now if all they demand is your time and a patient ear to listen to them well I think they deserve it and more.

Q for Queer : Everyone has their own peculiarities so Accept them and Don’t judge them.

R for Responsibilities : Stop running away from these cause you cannot outrun them even if you have been trained under Usain Bolt.

S for Shit Does Hit The Roof : Yes Shit does hit the roof and you have only two options – Clean Up or Panic and then Clean Up. If you have to clean up anyway then just skip and fast forward the Panic part.

T for Time : Time or the lack of it is an excuse we never tire of giving but what we fail to realise is that it is the most precious gift we can ever bestow on anyone.

U for Unknown : I know there is a Big Black Hole in the future but thinking about it will not suddenly get you the vision to see what lies beyond it so give up on the fear of the unknown.

V for Vendetta : grow Up and let go of all those stupid grudges else someday you’ll end up with so many issues that people might as well call you a subscription.

W for Work Work Work : Quoting Rihanna won’t help me I know but listening to her while I go about those mindless chores sure does. There are 219119 things to be crossed of your list but cribbing about them won’t get them done.

X for that XYZ over achiever : Every time I log onto FB I feel all my failures glaring at me in the form of those impossible feats achieved by them successful classmates I have encountered. Comparison is a guilty pleasure that we all indulge in (at least I do) but what we fail to recall is that we all are writing our own stories.

Y for You : It’s just Me, Myself and I is a chart buster for a reason. In all the running around don’t ignore the Super Hero of your life i.e You Yourself. Read that book you wanted to, see that movie of your favourite actor, get that spa done and go to that fine dine restaurant you have been wanting to try since forever.

Z for Zero Down : With all the beautiful distractions around you might lose sight of your ultimate aim or ignore that text of an old friend one more time but in the end its all about priorities and you got to zero down on those that matter.

Saturday Night Short Skirt Shenanigans!

The other day I met a couple of my girls and as it would be there was gossip and ooohing and aaahing over pictures and invariably the talk turned to clothes. We spoke about the woes we’ve been facing and particularly when it comes to Saturday night shenanigans (Read Parties/ Nightclubs/Lounges) how does one be non repetitive and yet dressed in those beautiful BUT oh-so-expensive dresses.

And Voila! Right then and there while sipping on my Nutella milkshake an epiphany struck me that we’d not be having these discussions if we were in Chandigarh. Thanks to the newly passed rule which bans women from wearing short skirts or dresses for their personal “safety”. Obviously after the huge hue and cry the UT Home Ministry cleared that the Ban pertained to refusing licence to discotheques, pool game/virtual reality game/game machine parlours, bowling alleys including places where music, singing, dancing (excluding cinema) and facility of eating and consumption of alcohol are provided to the customers if they displayed “photographs of scantily dressed women” in “exhibition or advertisements whether by way of posters or in the newspapers”.

This is not the first instance of a government trying to enforce such a rule or atleast the appearance of trying to enforce a rule that dictates the dress code of women. Jeans or Skirts are banned in Tamil Nadu’s temples. Cause of course a woman wearing jeans has no business to pray to the Lord Almighty and all religious sentiments can be arisen in someone only if they wear suitable Indian clothes. Several colleges and educational institutions across the country have dappled with controversy while trying to implement a stricter dress code.

No I am not a feminist or an anti-feminist or any of those fancy terms activists use nowadays cause being a feminist implies women are inherently weaker or men don’t have issues which is untrue. I’m a common girl who does not understand why she has to wear a cardigan if she is driving to a Cocktail party in a spaghetti strap dress. I am a girl who is pained that every time she needs to go for a party she has to drag a male friend of hers 30 kms across the town so she doesn’t have to travel alone to the club. I am a girl who is guilty of getting an overtly tired male friend to do a detour each time she returns back at a so-called unsuitable hour.

I am absolutely not saying that this means that every human with an XX chromosome should start parading the streets at 1 A.M in short skirts but I feel that if someone wants to then what is the harm? Cause clothes do not determine being picked on by men. Girls that are still in pre school have been raped. Infant girls have been molested. In what way did they provoke men to suffer that fate? Closer Home I have stood at a station at 5 PM and been catcalled.I  have friends being followed on a scooter at 2 PM in the noon when they have been fully clothed, jacketed and even wearing a scarf.

The point I want to put forth is that this Moral Policing on what girls wear is not the solution to the ever increasing Crime Against Women. It’s important that the Men in this country be shaken and stirred till their conscience is awakened and they realise that each girl is an individual in her right and a No is No and noone can force themselves on somebody without their consent. And till that occurs I would want that the regulatory authorities be a little more responsible and humane when dealing with all this. And lastly I appeal to each and every man out there to PLEASE respect the dignity of a woman and not shatter it!