I am a couple of days shy from completing a month at the Fancy managerial job I got post my M.B.A. Why was I hired? To bring innovative solutions to the organizational problems with the knowledge and expertise I gained during my MBA. But all I remember from my MBA is making a zillion PPTs for my group who seemed so unenthusiastic about it that I’d be scared to even send a completely done PPT to them also out of fear of their disdain, but that is a story for another day.

First thing that I have learnt is if you are from a so called AAA rating college then Bro half your job is done. You’ll be listened to and your totally outdated and hilarious ideas appreciated not to mention the fat pay package you carry home just cause you scored like 5 percentile more than us mortals in the competitive exams. But God help you if you’re from the so called Tier 2 colleges cause forget work even appreciation and intrigue from the opposite gender is something completely out of your reach. Hearing that someone is an alumnus from amazing college is enough to pique interest in anybody without even seeing them whereas you can be easily relegated to a corner.

If you have seen too many movies where managers sit in swanky cabins well there’s a rude shock in store since even getting an I- Card or a laptop is a tedious process fraught with several approvals and delays. These things are doled out on priority basis and being the lowest in the hierarchy of the mid level management I am sorry you stand last in line.

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The people you meet are another story. Conversations revolve around salaries , increments and HRAs punctuated by giggly discussions of alcohol. I am so glad to have found a few like minded people in my office with whom I can chill but their number is very low and most of them are people I already knew from college. I had thought I would meet really interesting new people but the count of that is Only One and that too shall soon become none. How is that you wonder? In the entire month I have been here I have met exactly one person who was intriguing enough to be friends with and with whom conversations genuinely would flow but he’s quitting work next week. In the mundane routine that office is, conversations over tea and cookies with him were the only part of the day I actually looked forward to but that is soon going to end and in this ever changing equation of life I can only wonder whether we’d still be friends once he quits or we’ll just end up being acquaintances of the past.

My chief learnings include knowing how to get my salary account opened or how to help the HR with his mail so he expedites our I cards. I know very well which coffee machine gives the best tasting coffee and that the chocolate chip cookies from the vending machine are heavenly. As for work I know how to handle projects I know nada about by just walking up to strangers and introducing myself and eating their heads till they answer my queries.

I am learning quite a lot every single day and have realised that its a Rat Race and a Dog-eat-Dog world out there and you have no option but to sweet talk your way through sticky situations. The stress on some of my friends who have joined other organizations is so unbelievably high that their well being has become a part of my daily prayers. My People skills’ may be inching to Zen level but I know I will achieve Corporate Nirvana the day the Higher-ups reply to my first mail and not make me resend it half a dozen times!

One thought on “Corporate Chronicles – Coffee, Cookies and Compliments

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