I choose to call myself a bibliophile and feel justified in doing so.I read books nineteen to dozen, have a book quote ready for any situation and there is always a book tucked in my bag if am going out and my Kindle feels like an extended body part I can’t seem to survive without.In fact I can associate people in my head with characters that I have read about and grown to cherish,hate,admire or love.
Yes I do have crushes on men found within the pages of a book and No I do not think it is abnormal to do so.But what amazes,surprises and baffles me is why do my fictional loves comprise of entirely the Bad Guys or at least the Not Really Nice Men.The kind your Mom didn’t envision you bringing home even though most have an unending stream of fortune backing them (the source of which isn’t clear mostly). Rhett Butler,Sidney Carter, Heathcliff,Mr.Darcy were all men one can’t fall in love with on the first,second or even the third sight.Its the Bingleys,the Gilbert Blythes and Gabriels of the world who are the Classic Good Guys but somehow they never make the cut.
It is a mystery to me as to why do I always fall for the Quintessential Bad Boy.A cigarette hanging from his lower lip, an all-knowing smile that seems to always hide a mystery at its corners, a characteristic swagger in the walk and an attitude that they are Gods walking among mortals.These men are emotionally unavailable and push you away when you need them the most and smother you with attention the moment you finally learn to stand on your two feet without them.
Talking to them takes Zero effort cause I think I forgot to mention the lovely conversationalists that they are they know what keeps you engaged and in fact wanting for more.But if you get hooked to these conversations you are in for a Rude Shock.They rarely think its worth the effort putting on their charm for so long and just let their eyes say volumes which you might spend eons deciphering and still fail.
Is it that the fact that they don’t want to commit which makes them a prize more precious I don’t know.Since you have seen them commit hard to their goals, to what they wish to achieve and even to maintaining their appearances.(God Forbid! that beard is less than perfect since it would be equivalent to committing blasphemy).Is it the thrill that is brought on by their Unpredictability since you keep wondering what lies just around the bend and never can guess it right.
I have no idea!!!May be it is the protective instinct in them that makes you feel that if they are around No harm might come to you and even if it does…Oh Well their presence and Never Say Die attitude is enough to give you strength to fight whatever life throws on your path.Don’t be mistaken that they will swoop in like a Knight in Shining Armour to save you from the world.They might but then you will lose all the respect you’ve garnered.They will just be the silent pillar of support who will make you realise your independence is something you can conquer the world with.
Maybe it is the fact that they appear as cool,calm and collected personalities but a storm keeps silently brewing in their minds that are deeper than Hell itself.Maybe its how they make you always strive to become better with that appearance of confidence.Of course it is not that they do not have their fair share of insecurities cause they do how much ever they pretend otherwise.And when finally they trust you enough to bare their vulnerabilities in front of you and let the Tough Guy Act fall is when I think every girl falls for this guy that she always knew was going to make her a wrecking ball.
You know what I could go on and on and be not even an inch closer to unraveling this mystery and I swear to God that unlike Ms.Taylor Swift I have no intention of making these Bad Guys good for the weekend cause I like them as is.I have tried hard to change my preferences courtsey Mother dear who is always Team Bingley to my Team Darcy and a supporter of M.S Dhoni as opposed to my immortal and undying love for Virat Kohli. But as is evident I have failed miserably cause even as I write this blog my favourite quote glares at me from the centre of a cushion and the voice of the ethereal Mr. Rhett Butler echoes in my mind saying “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a Damn!”